He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
Can you please tell me why there's a bottle of urine on my night stand with a note that says "in case you're thirsty in the morning"? Thanks.
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
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