How'd it feel making her break her religion?
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
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