I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
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