her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
Woke up in an unfamiliar basement in a sleeping bag with Matt to a police officer shining his flashlight in my eyes and asking me my birth date and social security number. My morning went swimmingly.
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
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