You really coming over, don't trick.
How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
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