you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
I'm at the gym. I've taken enough caffeine to feel inspired to be a low budget instagram fitness model. I totally forgot my push up bra though
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Randomize
