When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
Love that I’m sending my uber driver a thank you message for taking me home via mcdonalds tonight before I’m messaging my date from tonight! Lol
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
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