I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
im sorry i hit your dog last night,,,i didnt even see it
I dont have a dog?
WTF
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
Randomize
