: I need to find myself a plastic surgeon husband so i can get boobs.
but u need boobs to get one in the first place.
I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
Randomize
