How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
Randomize
