Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
Randomize