I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
Randomize
