So is it bad that I'm using this 21 year old for his hot bod and utter naivety?
No its what 21 year olds are made for
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
Randomize
