so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
