So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
TSA doesn’t allow handcuffs in carryon bags. Super fun they confiscated them in front of my boss and coworker.
Randomize
