so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
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