i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
Randomize
