So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
Also, beer. Big fan.
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
So I stole cocaine from one of my Tinder hookups
And that is the most millennial sentence I've ever said
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
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