Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
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