Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
