I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
I should put together a new mom basket for her. It would have diapers, vodka, ambien, and tissues for when she cries about her wasted youth.
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
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