I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
Randomize
