Well I left you a voicemail but you probably won't be able to hear it because my mic is fucked up. I think you need to come down here and take it in for me.
I hate this phone so bad I'm going to lose all of my friends because of it
Yeah...you probably will...
well, you're marked off my christmas card list for next year.
I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
he thought i was a dude.
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
Randomize
