Swine flu. Run for my life!
i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
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