People with herpes should wear stickers.
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
Drunk is not a location!
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
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