he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
Shit day. Some kids decided to open my car at 3 AM while I was at work and the alarm went off. I went after them with a sword but they were minors so I didn't kill them.
Randomize