Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
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