This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
Randomize
