I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
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