woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
Randomize
