he saw my "i like bacon" magnet on the fridge and i told him how much i love meat, then we started making out
what a beautiful fairy tale
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
You called his parrot a seagull, a pigeon and a rat with wings, and told it to go eat Cheetos out of a dumpster.
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
Randomize
