If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
Randomize
