Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
What am I supposed to say? "Hi new uncle in law once I tried cocaine in Mexico and every once in a while i motorboat strangers. so happy to be a part of your family"
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
Randomize
