Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
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Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
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It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
How drunk do you think I'll be by the time I get home?
I just watched you drink a whole glass of wine through a Twizzler. Pretty drunk.
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
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