She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
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I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
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Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
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