Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
Randomize
