I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
Brought him brownies before taking his pants off. I'm like the Martha fucking Stewart of booty calls. Walk of shame be damned.
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
Randomize
