Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Accidentally peeing a little on the couch in the middle of a sneeze is way different from railing a random on our waffle counter. I am the better roommate.
I just gave her a sobriety test in the middle of the baking aisle.
And the results, officer?
We're not piercing ourselves today.
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?