So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
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