shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
I am available for nakedness
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Randomize
