I woke up to a bunch of college seniors jacking off a horse in my face. Geuss who didnt move in time?
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
Randomize