hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
He felt like a one man threesome
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
don't take this the wrong way, but I'm not drunk but I need you to take me to the ER and you're the most likely to not be drunk now.
Randomize
