So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
Randomize
