I was the only open register tonight and I just sold condoms and chocolate frosting to the ex..
im holly from the hills drunk
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!