Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(313): View more from Michigan

Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs

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(916): View more from California

I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn

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(305): View more from Florida

She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.

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(650): View more from California

I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.

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25 People Didn’t Realize They Were Talking To Someone Famous
Read it at the TFLN blog
(912): View more from Georgia

I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.

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(780): View more from Alberta, CA

I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.

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(814): View more from Pennsylvania

you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl

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(317): View more from Indiana

Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.

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(732): View more from New Jersey

I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.

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