There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
Randomize
