WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize
