I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Randomize
