He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
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