About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
I accidently shit my pants. So I tried to throw my underwear in their lake, but they floated. So in the middle of the night, I got into the paddle boat and had to throw a rock on top of them so they would sink. Next time, I just won't shit myself.
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
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