Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
New low: just hacked my moms facebook
I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
Oh my god. I opened up my microwave and there was a pile of bacon in it. It's like my mother knew I'd be hungover.
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
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