That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
the day after is always just damage control
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
Randomize
