You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
Randomize
