She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
Randomize
