I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
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