We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
Randomize
