she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
I put an asterick after the names of people in my phone that I've fucked. Both as a form of bragging, and also so I can actually remember all their names.
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
