it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
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