so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
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You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
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