i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
I need Jameson.
Yea? How do you think I feel? Your job during the delivery is to keep that flask ready. The moment our kid pops out, I'm taking a shot.
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
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