We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
Randomize
