what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
Randomize
